I am polyamorous: my point of view


So this is another question from Instagram where somebody said that them and their girlfriend are looking to get an extra person in their relationship, and they want to know how they how I’ve managed to have a throuple and actually do this multiple times. So right now I am dating multiple people and I find it my preferred method. I’m not saying this for everybody. If you’re into a monogamy, if you just want to be in a relationship with one person, that’s absolutely great. But if you are in a situation where you do want to meet somebody else and add them to your relationship, then what is the correct method to do it?
How you go about doing it? I always tell people the best way to do it is from the beginning. Don’t try and get into a relationship and then add one afterward. That messes things up. And I see a lot of people that they’ll be with their partner like, oh yeah, my partner is totally okay with adding somebody else and that they’re really not. I have had very clear discussions with my partners, and they know this is not just what I want but who I am. And there’s a very big difference between those two phrases. So I actually own the concept of being polyamorous. Rather than saying I like dating multiple people, or I want to date multiple people, or I am someone who dates multiple people, I instead say I am polyamorous. That means that I am not only open to meeting and dating multiple people. That is my preference and that is actually my standard.
So I will not date somebody exclusively at any point. That’s just not going to happen. And that stance makes it really easy because I’ll bring it up before I’m even dating somebody, before I’m even hanging out with them or going on a date. And what’s cool about that I’m like having a coffee with somebody and if they don’t like that, then they just go, cool, see you later. And then some people, one in X amount of people is like, I’m really interested in that, tell me more about it. And they were like, I wish I had that. That sounds great. And so now they’re basically outing themselves as someone that would be interested in it. Then I can go and date that person. So a large part of it is actually meeting lots of different people.
Now I’m going to say something a little bit controversial and yet very brave. And I think this is something that is well worth saying. I don’t believe in hanging out with the polyamory community. I’ve met a lot of people that are into the polyamory community and I don’t like it. The reason I don’t like it yet is that I find it gets very incestuous where they all just trade partners and sleep with each other. And I’ve seen this situation before in groups of friends where groups of friends when they break up with their partner, their partner ends updating their friend. And I just think all those situations are trouble. I’ve developed a skill set. I can meet and attract people pretty much whenever I want. So I would rather meet lots of new people and develop new relationships.

You think about how many people are on the planet, how many people are in the big cities. You really don’t need to be dating someone that is in the same friend, group or social circle as your other friends or other people have dated. So I would actually shy away from you and your partner joining a polyamory community, and instead I would focus more on finding some really cool people that like you and know that you too are polyamorous and start identifying that way and say, we’re polyamorous. And then you’ll find that people gravitate to you. Like, I’ve absolutely since doing this, I had a buddy of mine, he reached out to me, and he was like, hey, let’s go to dinner sometime. That’s why I ended up sitting having dinner with my buddy. And my buddy is like, so I’m a polyamorous too.
Do you guys ever have guys? Oh, that was weird. I didn’t expect that. But it was cool. Like, we just had dinner. I was like, look, not really my thing. Like, I tend to prefer multiple women. In fact, that’s all I do. I was like, I appreciate you reaching out, but it was cool because it just shows you friends will reach out to you. And I’ve absolutely had multiple women message me like, hey, sorry to hear about your split up with one partner. I hear that you’ve got other partners. Are you looking for more? And it’s been really easy, especially for me because I own who I am. I’m having people reach out to me through social media and say I’m interested. And, you know, because I’m kind of playing field right now is a really great way to meet people and find out who is polyamorous and who isn’t. So yeah, good. Good way to do it. And I would say own who you are first and then just meet lots of people. And you can do it on dating apps, and you can do it in person, go to coffee shops, go to bars, just where you would normally meet people. And I find that’s one of the best ways to go about doing it.

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