What’s good, you all? Welcome back to my site. Today’s article is going to be all about non monogamy. What is non monogamy? What are the different poly relationship types of non monogamy? And specifically, we’ll be diving into what polyamory is and the different types of polyamory. Lastly, I’ll be sharing how I knew I was polyamorous and the current identity and framework that works for me. Without further ado, let’s get started.
What is monogamy?
With monogamy being the traditional way of navigating romantic relationships. Let’s start off by defining it. According to WebMD, monogamy is a relationship with only one partner at a time, rather than having multiple partners. A monogamous relationship can be sexual or romantic, but it’s usually both. We have been conditioned by our culture to believe that monogamy is the only way to navigate romantic relationships.
I believe the media has a huge role to play in this conditioning, as it typically portrays heterosexual monogamous relationships in print media, social media and film. However, there is an alternative that more people have become more aware of and more open to, and that is non monogamy.
What is polyamory?
There are three types of non-monogamous relationships, including polyamory, open relationships and swimming. Polyamory is defined as the practice of engaging in multiple, romantic and typically sexual relationships with the consent of all people involved. Polyamory is descriptive of a relationship but is also an identity, meaning that people can identify as polyamorous but not be in a relationship at the time. With that being said, let’s dive into the different types of polyamorous relationships.
Types of polyamory
The first one I want to talk about is hierarchical polyamory. In this type of relationship, there is one primary partner that is prioritized over all other partners. This partner is often the person one is married to, shares finances with, lives with, or spends important holidays with. Second is non-hierarchical polyamory. In this relationship, partners are not prioritized over the other. Each relationship is unique and just as important as the other. Think of this one like a team effort. Everyone in the relationship has a say in making important decisions. Next is a view relationship. In a View relationship, one person is dating two people who are not sexually or romantically involved with one another. I know this one’s kind of confusing, so I’ll give an example. Low is dating angel and Bronson. But angel and Bronson do not have sexual or romantic relations to one another.
The reason it’s called a V relationship is that if you were to draw a line between all the parties involved, it would create a V. Not a singular line, not a triangle, but a V. Next is a triad or thruffle. A triad is a relationship where three partners are all romantically and sexually intertwined with one another. The same goes for a quad for people who are sexually and romantically entwined with one another.
The last one is my favorite. It is the current framework and identity that I use, and that is solo polyamory. This is when someone has multiple intimate relations with people but has an independent or single lifestyle. Meaning they may not live with partners, share finances, or have the desire to reach traditional relationship milestones which may make partners lives more intertwined. Think of a solo polyamorous as their own primary partner. They prioritize their needs above all else, and they aren’t really obligated to consult with their other partners to make big life decisions.
Now I want to share more about my journey and how I knew I was polyamorous at heart. I grew up in a very strict Catholic household. As a kid, monogamy was all I knew. All of my family members were in heterosexual monogamous relationships and I will say that that set the standard. But one day I was saved by my suggested videos on YouTube. Around this time I was doing a lot of deep exploration about my relationships, about myself. I was doing a lot of spiritual work. So YouTube came in clutch and recommended this video for me.
Can you be in love with multiple people?
It was one of those middle ground videos by Jubilee titled can you be in Love with Multiple People? Basically in this video they brought together non-monogamous people and monogamous people to share their views on relationships. And after hearing both sides, my eyes opened.
The Non-Monogamous View
And truly I began to feel myself siding with the non-monogamous view that not one partner could satisfy all your needs. And that the same way we have multiple friendships that bring out different sides of us. We can also have multiple romantic and sexual relationships that bring out different sides of us. So I began to think big, think. I did some reflecting, and I realized that having just one partner felt suffocating to me.
Finding a friend
It’s not that my partner suffocated me, but I just felt almost chained in, and I wasn’t completely satisfied. However, I still wasn’t sure at the time I was still in cosmetology school. I didn’t have the capacity or the opportunities to really explore non monogamy. But what really helped was finding a friend who was polyamorous and hearing their stories and their views, which really helped to affirm that polyamory wasn’t just right for me, but that it could be really put into practice and that it could really satisfy and fulfill people’s lives.
So, like I said before, solo polyamory is what works for me. Currently, I’m focused on my career, and I’m looking to live a more independent and solo lifestyle and I just want to kiss and cuddle and have sexual relations with multiple people without having to be exclusive or without it having to develop into something that’s more serious. Solo polyamory is not a whole phase. It is definitely deeper and intimate than that. And eventually I think my relationship framework will develop into having one primary partner and having multiple other partners on the side. But that will come in time and when I’m ready to settle down.
I hope you found this article helpful, useful or intriguing to some degree. If you like this article, please share it in your social networks. If you’re non-monogamous, leave a comment down below on your journey towards non monogamy. If you’re a monogamous, I would also love to hear from you and your views after reading this article. Has it changed? Are you the same? Let me know. Also, if you’re polyamorous, hit my line. Be my friend. Let me know. Okay, cool. All right. Thank you so much for reading this article. And until next time, peace.