What is wrong unicorns polyamory?

Hey. Today we’re going to crock. What I got wrong about unicorns polyamory? This article is a direct response to comments from you that you posted in the comments section on YouTube. So watch this article, and if you have more thoughts, add them below and maybe your thoughts will turn into our next video. It seems that my video on open relationships struck a chord with many people, and the fact that people engage in what is actually appropriate termed consensual non monogamy makes very little sense to me personally. But it has come to my attention that I actually say things in my video that are wrong. And I know that a lot of you think that I’m the kind of person who thinks I’m right all the time, but I’m not, so I am willing to admit I’m wrong. A study that was sent to me cites that 20% of people have experienced consensual non-monogamous relationships, and about three to 5% of people are currently in consensual non-monogamous relationships. That’s a lot of people.
I want to take this opportunity to legitimately apologize if I presented a perspective that is in any way homophobic implies that these kinds of relationships are less legitimate, less healthy, that they’re immoral, that they increase your risk of STDs. Besides those things that I wanted to clear up, here are the top three things that I seem to have gotten completely wrong. I’m basing this information on conversations I’ve had with four professional, educated adults who live in consensual non-monogamous relationships and in many cases do research and provide clinical support for those who live consensual non-monogamous lifestyles. Point number one. Full disclosure I basically got all the terminology about this topic completely wrong. Consensual non monogamy actually refers to any relationship which is sexually and or romantically. Nonexclusive. In addition, learn something new. Consensual non monogamy actually describes about three different types of relationships. The first is polyamory, which means loving more than one person. The second is swinging, which is having sexual encounters as a couple with other people. And the third is open relationships, which is basically everything else.
So what I described in my video as open relationships was actually most accurately described as polyamory. It’s one of the three kinds of consensual non-monogamous relationships we’re all learning. Now, I’ve been told that I am setting up, quote, an incredibly linear way, end quote, of looking at sex as a means to an end meaning. When I describe sex as something that makes babies and solidifies romantic bonds, apparently that’s not entirely appropriate because some people see sex as simply an expression of love, lust and compassion. Some people who are in monogamous relationships open up their relationship due to, quote, a profound sense of security and a deep expression of trust and love. So as hard as that is for me personally to wrap my head around, one person actually said that the ability to no longer pretend that the person you’re married to is the only person you want to be with is actually liberating and for them feels very natural. However uncomfortable I am with this notion of openness, there are people who are equally uncomfortable with the notion of fixed roles.

Okay, number two, the second thing that I got really wrong, like I missed the mark on this Six Ways to Sunday was on the binary notions of sex and gender. I really stepped in it on this one. I totally didn’t. Although I made it clear in my video that I was speaking about heterosexual relationships, which are the relationships that I have the most experience with, I’m being told that I inadvertently encourage viewers to consider sexuality and relationships along strictly male and female terms. This nullifies the reality of queer gender, creative variant and intersex people, all of whom do not neatly fit into a male female dichotomization. I’m also told that I was factually wrong to conflate genetic, sex and sexual orientation. This is all really complicated. Also, I did not mean to imply that just because you can’t or don’t want to make babies that you can’t decide which cultural constructs are oppressive or that the only appropriate behavior is heterosexual baby making behavior. Number three, it’s been brought to my attention that I have added to the stigmatization of a population which is already marginalized, and for that I am very sorry. This kind of stigmatization has real world consequences.
Assault, harassment and discrimination are real things, and they can happen from the medical professional world, from family, from coworkers and friends. When people come out as consensual non monogamists, my reinforcement from the popular position of heterosexual monogamy to the detriment of consensual non monogamy may fuel intolerance and hatred. I sincerely would hate for that to be the case. In closing, here are my take home thoughts. One of my critics asked me why it’s so unfathomable to me that a friend that I have known for a long time might have the same kind of sexual relationship with me as someone I meet at a bar or on an app. I know a lot of reasons why that doesn’t make sense to me, but I also know that that may make sense to other people, and they have that right. I’m told that there’s a lot to be gained from the consideration of a life of non monogamy such as taking a close look at one’s abandonment issues and the ability to be self-sufficient in the world. Choosing to be in relationships out of love rather than out of dependency or fear, and learning to be as honest as we can about the multiplicity of our desires, our experiences, and the vast arrays of different kinds of love and loving relationships that we’re capable of.
I totally agree, but I don’t choose consensual non monogamy as the way to make those things happen. I also don’t think that consensual non monogamy is the only way to achieve those things. It makes me feel very boring and prudish and old and like I’m out of it. But in this case, I know that all I can be is me. I know that I’m off the beaten path in many ways, and this may not be one of the ways that I choose to do things differently than the majority. Someone said this about her experiences with consensual non monogamy there are so many ways to live a life, and finding the way that is most authentic and true to oneself is a privilege. Absolutely. I could not agree more. Thanks for watching. Subscribe to my channel and add your comments below. Maybe what you say will turn into what we create. Our next video out of share this video, post it with your friends. Do all the things that people do with these videos. Thank you. See you next time.